Portraits by Andy Warhol

There was an Andy Warhol private collection showing in Toronto a few months ago.

Out of all the works they had on display, I was really struck by "The Socialites" collection. Portraits of wealthy men who commissioned Warhol to make portraits of them. What do they all have in common?

Hands near face in almost each one. It got me thinking about the subtle body language differences between hand gestures. Here's a summary to what these men could be communicating:

1. Fist over chin: Interested
2. Finger steeple: noticeable in the touching index fingers, a sign of confidence and self-assurance
3. Holding up cigar: according to cigar psychology (there is such a thing!) the way he is holding it represents being practical/vindictive
4. Hand near chin: thinking
5. Index finger at chin: thinking

There is a clear theme of being reflective and confident in their hand gestures. I wonder whether or not they naturally chose to pose that way, or if they had guidance. My guess would be the former,. Do you think confidence comes naturally to socialites?

What are your hands communicating? Here is a neat chart I found in my research:

Source: University of Cambrdige

Happy D-coding,

Darya

Improving Office Perception: Avoiding Bad Office Habits

There's more to your office reputation than hard work. It's a sad truth, but not everyone at your work will have a chance to be impressed by your incredible Excel-automated business model or that presentation deck you pulled an all-nighter for.  But that won't stop them from forming an opinion about your work ethic just by walking by your desk a couple of times on their way to the washroom. (This article probably does not apply to you if you are one of the fortunate ones who have a very secluded cubicle).  It's human nature to make rash judgments about others and the last thing you want is for your office habits to make you look incompetent at your job.

Teachings on being a "professional" often focus on how you dress and talk. However, there are some other simple things that you can do to better reflect a good work ethic:

1. Mirror the hours of your management: If your manager always comes in early, do the same. The bonus is you get to be around them when it's quieter and might even get some valuable one-on-one time.

2. Stay later: Truth is, when you come into work at 7AM, few people see it. When you stay until 7PM, almost everyone leaving will say bye or acknowledge your late presence on their way out. 

3. Forget the cellphone: Don't use your phone at your desk. Ever. Even if you work tirelessly for 10 hours straight and someone just happens to walk by when you are sending that one text of the day, you risk being seen as a slacker. Especially if it's someone who rarely sees you. If you really need to take a personal phone call, you can go for a walk (or even use your desk phone if it's something quick -perception is that it's work related). Yes, it's hard to abandon our most prized possession for a few hours, but the cellphone just has to go while you're at your desk.

4. Carry the notebook:  Instead of just sitting in a meeting, take some notes. This will help you stay engaged and show that you are listening.

5. Jacket on chair/hanger: sends the message that you are present somewhere in the office, even if away from your cubicle.

6. Mind the TMI (too much information): Keep personal conversations to a minimal. If you can't see someone that means they can't overhear you, right? Wrong.

7. Be present: This is the most important. If you are often tempted to work at home, think about all the valuable conversations that happen around the office that might help you do a better job. Being present allows you and other people to drop by with questions, as well as build rapport with your colleagues. Few things are more effective to finding an answer than sneaking up on someone right at their desk with the words "Do you have a quick minute?". 

Hopefully these tips help you stay engaged in the workplace and show others that you care.

Happy D-coding,

Darya

Image source: http://beta.diylol.com/memes/545-procrastination-panda/posts/192779-i-may-not-look-busy-but-at-the-celular-level-i-m-really-quite-active

What Your Clothes Say About You

As much as spring is a time for renewal, it is also often a prompt to hit the mall for some new looks.

The phrase "clothes make the man" is not an unfamiliar one, but what do the colors and clothes we wear actually communicate to others? Did you ever wonder how much of the likability of a person is determined based on their appearance? More than you think. Interviews are not the only life events for which our wardrobe plays an important role. Pardon human shallowness but often wardrobe is the only way people can judge your personality, which in turn affects how they choose to react to you.

I've grouped some color psychology along with some wardrobe tips to help guide you in communicating the message you want depending on which of the following three situations you are in:

Looking Competent in Sales and Business 

To give off a professional image, extra care must be taken into how well the clothes fit, their cleanliness and lack of wrinkles (yes, that means ironing). Same goes for well-groomed hair and nails.

People tend to trust those with "fit" body types and subconsciously associate fitness with competency (1). Therefore, if you have a fit body it's good to wear clothes that outline the figure. For men, that means well-fitted suits. For ladies - fitted tops or dresses. Studies have shown that heavier eyeglass frames communicate intelligence within a business environment. (2)

A heavier eyeglass frame
communicates intelligence

The ultimate color of power is black (3). However, since it overpowers other colors too much of it can be seen as threatening. Blue is second most powerful as it communicates confidence, trust and authority (particularly in its darker shades). This is the reason why blue is one of the most popular colors used in logos. Another business option is deep purple because it communicates luxury and sophistication. This might be useful for salespeople to note when they would like to communicate status and trust.

A great tip for sales people is to wear some "status" symbols of success. For example, a nice watch or a designer bag. In business, the quality of clothes is important as it allows you to be more persuasive. When you have a high-quality looking wardrobe, people are more likely to perceive you as more successful in your field and place more trust into your ideas. 

Making Yourself Approachable - Networking

An accessory that stands out is
a conversation starter.

My favourite networking tip is to have a statement accessory. This makes it easier for someone to approach you and break the ice by commenting on the item. It could be a statement necklace, tie, a bright scarf, or a purse. Whatever it is, it should be something that not only complements your outfit but also catches the eye.

Making great first impressions is all about perception. For example, if someone asks you for your business card, don't look disheveled trying to check all of your pockets or trying to frantically dig for it through the black hole that is the over-cluttered bottom of your purse. Know where the things you need are. If you have a purse, make sure it doesn't prevent you from having a hand available for a handshake (presuming you are likely to have an appetizer or a drink in the other). 

In terms of color, light brown communicates that you are genuine. Brown is a cozy color that is welcoming and approachable. Hints of orange and yellow in an outfit could be helpful to draw attention. Although too much yellow can be intimidating, it can create a sense of warmth. Orange is considered an approachable color that communicates courage and generosity. Sometimes marketers use orange to make an expensive product seem more affordable.

Read Bad Body Language Habits for other networking behaviours to avoid

Less Awkward First Dates - Improving Likeability

Wear red. 

I was going to leave it at that, but some other popular colors are pink and lavender for femininity (this one is more for the girls). White could be used to highlight purity and peace, especially if you are a bit nervous. If the texture of the fabrics you wear is soft, it can invite human closeness.

Mimic the effect of dilated pupils
by wearing sunglasses on your head

It's a fact that dilated pupils naturally make a person seem more attractive to us. This effect can be mimicked by wearing sunglasses on the head. Having this extra set of "eyes" allows a person to be perceived as youthful and relaxed (2). This mimics the relaxing effect babies and stuffed animals with large painted pupils have on us. 

I will leave what to wear or not wear open-ended. It all depends on what you want your date to end with...

Read more about the Body Language of Attraction

Hope these tips help you refresh your look for spring. 

Happy D-coding,

Darya

Sources:

1. Dillard, James, Pfau, Michael"The Persuasion Handbook"; 2002

2. Pease, Allan and Barbara. The Definitive Book of Body Language. Bantam Dell, New York, New York. 2004
3. Expert Business Source. "Colors and How People React to Them" 2007.

Can You Spot the Liar?

Wanted to share this great lie-spotting quiz my friend sent me. It's got 10 video clips you can watch and try to figure out whether or not the people are lying. This is very quick to do and very entertaining! I got 9/10. The trick is to trust your gut and, before doing it, brush up on lie detecting tips from my article here.

Click here for the quiz - "Can You Spot the Liar?"

Happy D-Coding,

Darya

Angela Merkel's Hands: Body Language as a Personal Brand

I've recently learned that the Prime Minister (Chancellor) of Germany, Angela Merkel, has a hand gesture known as the "Merkel Diamond". It is so widely recognized in the world that it was even a logo for one of her political campaigns. 

source: blogspot

Merkel says the hand gesture came to be when she was struggling to find what to do with her hands in public situations (The Guardian). Margaret Thatcher also had a similar issue and was told to carry a handbag. But it's not just politicians that struggle with this. Many of us have struggled with what I like to call "hand-awkwardness'. It's most evident to me when I have to pose for photos (Do you ever feel like "hand on hip" is just not the appropriate gesture for a certain photograph?).

In body language terms, the "Merkel Diamond" is a hand gesture that communicates confidence. Interestingly, it has an additional meaning during conversations. If the gesture is done simultaneously with positive body language signals, it means the person is confident about what they is being told. If it's used with negative gestures, the person is confident that they disagree with you.

In my opinion, Merkel's Diamond is a lot more effective than Thatcher's use of the handbag. Covering your body with objects can make you be perceived as a closed individual and reduce your rapport. That's why while sitting in a coffee shop with someone, it's best to put your coffee cup to the side and not directly in front of you so it doesn't create a barrier.

There is a reason why Merkel was on the most powerful people list several times. Attention to detail in body language plays an important role in your personal brand. It's not uncommon for public figures to go through extensive body language training.

Merkel's Political Campaign

What do you do with your hands in awkward situations? Do you have a go-to gesture? Please don't say you cross your arms. (You can read my bad habits article on why).

Happy D-Coding,

Darya

Top 3 Articles of 2013

I've reviewed my blog stats for the year and here are the most popular articles that I've posted. (They are actually my favourites as well!)

1) How To Win your Crush Over: The Body Language of Attraction

2) Crossed Arms and Other Bad Body Language Habits

3) Words That Destroy Conversations (And You've Probably Used Them Today)

I'd like to sincerely thank you for reading my blog. This year I've learned lots on the subject of body language and have lots more I'd like to share with you in 2014. Seeing people interested in a subject I'm so passionate about has made this one of my funnest learning adventures.

You can follow me on twitter @DaryaDen for more frequent tips.

Happy New Year!

And of course...

Happy D-Coding,

Darya

Body Language in Customer Service

To escape the snowy Toronto December I took a trip to Cayo Coco, Cuba. Everything about the resort we stayed at was absolutely beautiful, but the most touching were the people serving us. One day as we were entering the buffet for lunch they were all lined up with their arms across their chest. (I managed to snap this photo as I was walking).

I'm not sure if it was the sappy live music playing in the background but I was extremely touched seeing them all lined up with hands over their hearts.  It was an amazing example of body language that really warmed the heart. It made them look very sincere. With a simple gesture, without saying anything - they greeted us and communicated readiness to make our stay the best one possible through their service.

This got me thinking about body language in customer service. Imagine if employees were trained out of bad body language habits  (Read: my bad body language habits article) and practiced more open body language. This would make crowded December malls seem more bearable. Customers would walk out of stores feeling like they were cared for - and may not even know why! 

Happy D-Coding,

Darya

P.S. I post lots of fun facts and tips on my twitter account. Follow me @DaryaDen27