I came across a great article today about career body language mistakes that go from handshakes (which I've already covered in detail) to nodding too much. Check it out for a great summary of body gestures that we often overlook that speak volumes about us to others.
My favourite tip was how women often tend to "over condense" their bodies by crossing their legs and keeping their elbows on their sides. High status men tend to do the opposite, and as a result women subconsciously communicate low confidence and status in professional environments.
How many handshakes do you give in day? A month? A year? A
handshake can say a lot more about you than you think. Ever wonder where the
saying “having the upper hand” comes from? This month I’ve been looking into
what kind of “power” messages various handshakes communicate.
Most people tend to forget how important it is to make the
right impression with a handshake. A handshake can guide someone in making a
conclusion about your personality, what kind of status you hold or how much
power you have.
Some of the best examples of how important a handshake is
when demonstrating power can be drawn from politicians. Here is an amazing four-minute
video clip that shows several politicians adjusting their body language in
order to have the “upper hand” in a handshake and to demonstrate their power. My
favourite one is Hilary Clinton’s “not-so-subtle” photo preparation manoeuvre.
The Basic Power Rules
of a Handshake:
1.The hand that is on top usually has the power.
2.Tapping the person on the back while you shake
their hand re-establishes your power once again.
3.The last person through a door usually has the
power (often seen in politics).
4.If taking a photo of you shaking hands with
someone, you need to be on their right side to “have the upper hand”.
How To Shift the
Power of a Handshake:
If you see someone else having “the upper hand” while
shaking hands with you, there are several things you can do to change the
situation.
1.If you see someone reaching out for a handshake
with their palm facing down, use the “step-to-the-right” technique. Step
forward with your left foot (this might feel unnatural and needs practice,
since 90% of people step with their right foot first), then step forward with
your right foot, then bring your left foot to where your right foot is. As you
are doing this, you will be able to turn the handshake vertically and establish
power through being closer to the other person’s personal space.
2.If this is someone that you are closer with, you
can put your second palm on top of their palm to re-establish power.
3.If you are being dominated in a handshake and
don’t want to, you can try to create equality by turning the other persons hand
vertically so that their hand is no longer on top of yours. (You need to judge
the situation because it might come off as too aggressive).
Handshake Mistakes:
People don’t usually think all that much about what their
handshake says about them. I hope you don’t recognize your own handshake in
this list. If you do, now you know how to fix it.
1.The “wet fish” – a handshake without any grip
that can be associated with weak character
2.The “bone crasher” – a handshake so firm it
imprints marks in your finger bones. Negatively associated with a dominant
personality.
3.The “Finger- Tip Grab” – if someone accidentally
shakes hands this way with you, casually say something like “let’s do that
again” and give them a full handshake. This shows the person that you respect them
enough to give them a proper handshake.
It’s amazing how much can be communicated in just a couple
of seconds. May yours handshake always say about you exactly what you want it
to.
Happy D-coding,
Darya
Source: Pease, Allan
and Barbara. The Definitive Book of Body Language. Bantam Dell, New York, New
York. 2004
